Even you can be a Padres (partial) season ticket holder

Its that time of year again. Baseball is back. You pull out the schedule, pick your games and get ready for another exciting season at Petco Park, but I have one question for you: why aren't you a partial season ticket holder?

I hope this guy is a season ticket holder.

I have asked myself that question for the last few years as I have trekked down the cluttered 163 and patrolled the streets of downtown to find some free parking over twenty times each season. On each one of these pilgrimages, I forked over a minimum of ten bucks to gain access to the gates of Petco Park. Estimated cost per year easily eclipsed $200. Don't get me wrong, this is quite the bargain to attend a plethora of baseball games, but the hassle of buying tickets day of, waiting in line, and if it is a Giants game...don't get me started.

So, at FanFest I scouted the crowd until I came across Riley Danford, my new Account Executive. I told him straight up I wanted the cheapest 21-game pack the Padres have and he hooked my roommate and I up with the weekend plan for $195/ea or $9.50 a ticket. But enough about my story, I want to tell you the best reasons to get a plan


First, flexibility. With the plan I purchased, I get what is dubbed "the weekend package" or Plan Blue X where I get Monday, Friday and Sunday games throughout the year. The nice thing about this package is though is any weekend game is flexible in which you can move it to any other game you want. For instance, say I have a Sunday game against the Marlins, cash that in and change it to a Saturday game a tickets to a replica jersey night instead. Any good promotional night, any big series, or just a busy schedule, an easy switch can be made right from your computer, no questions asked.

Second, the ability to purchase additional tickets. My roommate and I just have our two, but at game we have in our 21-gamer, we can purchase up to six additional tickets at the cost we pay ($9.50). This includes Opening Day (normally $21.75) and weekend series. Even though it is just us two, we never attend a game with less than 4 people so this is a great way to save everyone money over the course of the year.

Third, you get Opening Night. Pretty self explanatory, and if you want you can also get Opening Day. These tickets are almost sold out. Not for me, I am rolling 10 deep.

Last, they can be upgraded with ease. Say I find lower box seats that I want. Boom. Mine. All I have to do is pay the upgrade fee, which is the price of a season ticket in that section. Also, if I want combine two games worth of tickets, that value can be applied to one ticket.


Padres are nice enough to add tons of perks to their plan to make it easy for people to get out to the ballpark. The price point is there, the flexibility is there, and other perks like promotions make the partial season ticket plans a sweet way for any fan to make 2014 a great season to remember as a Padre fan. And also, you didn't hear it from me, but the Padres just might surprise some teams this year and sneak in as a wild card. Only time will tell, but I will be there, 21 times at least, to enjoy the ride.

For my last point, 21 times you can skip out on listening to these two. Hubba, hubba.

Go Padres!

Padres sweep Giants, win 4th straight

Making it short because I have a pool party to attend, but what a sweet game at Petco Park today!

Going for the sweep of the Giants coming into the Sunday day game, the Padres didn't disappoint getting an offensive surge with 3 home runs, including a new-fence-aided Alexi Amarista 2-run shot and jacks by Headley and Hundley as well. It is nice to see the Padres get some production via the long ball since timely hitting isn't always there. Why not just score all runners at one time by hitting the ball over the wall?

Jason Marquis, although slightly shaky, was able to put off a much needed start for the Padres going 6.2IP and only surrendering 2 runs to the Giants lineup. Having to work out of bases loaded jams and runners continually on base isn't a good thing, but getting out of them with small scrapes is what Padres pitches need to do more often. Get out of jams without more than one run is great.

I am glad this series is over though. I was slightly looking forward to the higher attendance games and banter between both sides, but I had enough of it today. I couldn't even get into the park before I was angered by Giants fans who seem to turn up by the millions when they play at Petco Park.

Anyways, got the 6-4 win with another Huston Street save and we got the sweep from our Northern California rivals. I call that a great weekend.

Let us build on this four game winning streak and see if we can piece together a few series victories and get our record back to something respectable. It is obvious that Chase Headley back in the lineup is an amazing thing as today he smacked two doubles, one down each line, and a home run to dead center. His power is still there in all areas and the lineup is greatly impacted because of it. Get Norf, ECab, #WillTheThrill on base ahead of him, and the Padres will score some runs.

Go Padres!

Hey Padres fans, Go See The Storm instead

The Padres are bad. I cannot say the worst, because well, there is one team that is still currently worse than them, thank goodness. But yes, it is fair to say the wins won't come in bunches this year from what the fans are currently seeing.

This makes me think of other options. As much fun as it is to go to Padres games, it loses a little of the luster of attending when you are going to see their "best" pitchers get raked for 5+ runs a start and their "starters" (*coughVolquezcough*) continuously strike out with the bases loaded.

These are your "#1" and "#2"

So, I thought, and I came to the conclusion: Why not go see Lake Elsinore play? I mean, it still is professional baseball, right? Why not give the minor leagues more of a chance. The more I thought, the more it made sense.

Talent
First, the Storm have brought several players up to the Padres organization over the years. Checking out their notable alumni, they actually have seen several Padres  come up, such as Chase Headley, Kyle Blanks, Nick Hundley and the great Jake Peavy. Some of the players you will see will make it to the big leagues, and with the Padres playing the way they are, it might be sooner than later. And hey, the other teams who actually develop their minor league players play as well. Could see Mike Trout before he is MIKE TROUT.

Cost
Also thinking about my wallet, it would be cheaper to go see a Storm game instead. Looking at the Storm ticketing system, the most expensive ticket you will buy is $15, and that will land you right behind home plate. Coming from someone who is a die hard baseball fan in general, sitting in awesome seats at a professional game for cheap is right up my alley. Seeing how Padres tickets behind home plate can run you $80 or more just to sit close to another strike out, do you really want to put that much money into a losing product?  Also, to go along this, for our military members, you can get 4 reserved tickets or free on Monday with valid military ID. Who says only the big club supports our men in uniform?

Promotions
When it comes to the perks of seeing a baseball game, the Storm have promotions that kick the big league clubs booties all over the park. Every week, they have weekly promotions that go on the entire season:

Margarita Mondays: $2 margaritas and military get 4 free reserved tickets with military ID
2-riffic Tuesdays: 2 for 1 tickets and $2 specials around the stadium
Wacky Weenie Wednesday/Wine Down Wednesday: My personal favorite of unlimited FREE hot dogs around the stadium and also wine tasting specials until the 7th. Who needs all you can eat seats at Petco when you have this option?
Thirsty Thursday: $1 Beer and Soda all game long. Basically, get drunk cheap.
Fireworks Friday: Fireworks at game. I mean, fireworks are fun wherever you see them, right?
Social Media Saturday: Follow them on FB/Twitter and get deals and oh yeah, FREE HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH DRESSING
Sunday Funday: Kids announce the game, help with grounds crew and run the bases. If you have kids, this could be a great opportunity to make their almost-big-league-dreams come true.

Besides the weekly stuff, throw in  Star Wars night on May 11th,  Fleece Blanket giveaway May 25th, SUPERHERO NIGHT June 29th and Chase Headley Jersey Giveaway July 27th and you hav have a better lineup than the Padres do already.

Star Wars Night: We are all winners/

Promotions. Good stuff.

Location
Well, I will admit it is not the most ideal for all of those South County folks, but for all of the North County livin's, Lake Elsinore isn't too far up the 15 to say that you can't go. A quick 45 minute drive for $1 beer, if I do my math correctly, would be 8 beers for every 1 at Petco. You are actually saving money this way.

Same Result
Ok, so the Storm are currently 5-13 as I right that, and thats perfectly fine with me. If you follow the Storm, it will just prepare you for what to expect when you watch the Padres. Basically, this minor league team prepares you for the show as a fan the same way as it does for the players. And at the end of the day, who cares who wins or loses at this park, we are just here to see baseball at this point.

Charlie Brown recently was named to the Padres starting rotation

So, I urge you all to try out some Lake Elsinore Storm games this 2013 year. I know I will.

Let's play the "What If" game: Padres Edition.

As fans, you probably talk about a lot of "what if" scenarios with your friends, most likely a few unrealistic feats that are fun to joke around with while playing video games and eating leftover pizza.

But with the Padres, the entire season can be said to be based off of a "what if" scenario" and I just wanted to point out a few big ones that Padres are going to be facing in the next few months.

"What if Edison Volquez doesn't turn his season around"
This is a highly likely scenario. Volquez has been serving up batting practice so far. So far, he has started off 0-3 with a 11.68 ERA (ouch). It is not like this is a new thing neither. Last year he went 11-11 with a 4.14 ERA and career 4.64 ERA lifetime. Seeing this, it is not like he about to hit his prime and start dominating. A guy with a mediocre fastball, terrible mechanics, and can hit his spots as well as Matt Kemp's hitting this early part of the year.

Is that Edison Volquez career I see?

Solution? Drop him out of the rotation. You have two arms in Andrew Cashner and Anthony Bass who are licking their chops to get back in the starting rotation. Bass so far has had some success in his 10.2 innings showing a 3.38 ERA and striking out 10, almost a strike out an inning. He has had struggles as a starter, just look at last year, but I have more faith in him than our so-called Opening Day starter.  Cashner as well could be a viable option. Once he gets back in the rhythm of things, I think he could be an effective starter. We saw great flashes of him last year as a starter, picking up some wins. It would be nice to give him a chance and maybe make the argument that the Anthony Rizzo trade was not a complete failure on Padres management. 100 MPH fastball is something worth using often.

"What if Chase Headley doesn't perform as well as last year"
Well, even though as I fan, I would like him to do so, I do not think he will put up similar numbers, but I still think he will be good. When looking up his fly ball tracks from last year, almost 25% of fly balls he hit left the yard, an extremely high number for any MLB player. Also, he may take a few weeks to get himself back fully from injury, so basically, the first month is a wash.

Although, the batters in front of him have been playing well. Chris Denorfia is turning himself into a every day starter and one of the few Padres who can hit .300, mix that in with a Everth Cabrera who has been swinging well and a Will Venable who has been able to get on base, Headley may have a lot of runners to drive in in front of him, so the RBI totals will be there. If he can get some power out of Yonder Alonso, Kyle Blanks and  Yasmani Grandal when he returns, maybe he will have some protection in the lineup.

Anyways, if he doesn't perform, he will most likely stay a Padre because his trade stock will plummet, and if he does, well, lets just hope management keeps their promise.

"What if Cameron Maybin never gets good again"
Unfortunately, this could be a sad reality for the Padres. The Padres "Player of the Year" in 2011 to batting just over .200 in 2012, to not even sniffing .100 batting average while obtaining an early wrist injury. It makes me cringe every time I remind myself we signed him 5yr/$25, a really premature move considering he only had one good year to go off of. I know the guy is 26 years old and still can hit his prime, but I only see him as a defensive factor and someone who swings for the fences but comes up short. If only he could play like his doppelganger, Dexter Fowler, who is becoming a force in Colorado.

What is Maybin doing in a Rockies uniform?

Maybin also is going to have a hard time finding any time on the field if Kyle Blanks really does come back for good the the bigs. With the power Blanks provides, the consistency of Denorfia and the inability to sit Quentin, Maybin might as well see himself as the 5th option in the outfield for the Padres.

"What if Denorfia plays like this all year?"
Answer: He will. The guy is a career .284 hitter and has become an instant spark plug and reliable bat in the lineup. As one of my favorite players since he has come to the Padres, I am really pushing for him to continue his early success as a full time player instead of someone who splits time with Venable in right. It would be nice to find a surprise bat in the lineup.

Just think of the lineup if players play up to potential:
Cabrera
Denorfia
Headley
Alonso
Quentin
Blanks/Venable
Hundley
Gyorko

That is a lot of power potential to hit balls into shorter Petco fences and make pitchers actually think twice about the Padres lineup even without Grandal. I am seeing a few guys who have 20+ home run potential.

"What if the Padres turn it around?"
They can. I really, truly believe that they can. They just need to get more out of their pitching staff. All of these early exits by starting pitching has really taken a toll on the bullpen and logging a lot of extra innings on them. I feel bad for a guy like Thad Weber who's sole purpose was to come up and eat innings for the big league club, only to be sent back down. If we can get pitching like we did in LA and string a full quality starts together, maybe, just maybe, the Padres can push for a .500 record. I am sold that the Padres have a good lineup who can score runs, just ask Papa John's, who has been dishing out 40% coupons all year because of it. If you can combine the pitching with the hitting, the Padres can be an underrated force against overrated teams.

"I got you, Padres fans"

The Padres aren't as bad as their record shows. They are just struck with the injury bug and playing to what they are expected to play at. Remember the second half last year? All the same pieces are here, I know they can play like that. Lets hope they can know that for themselves.

Go Padres!

Recap: How Sweep It is! Padres sweep Dodgers in LA

#BeatLA

Kyle Blanks is back. With authority.
Kershaw can't handle powerful Padres lineup.
Matt Kemp still sucks.

Nice series.

Top Ten Tuesdays: Padres Memes

It's time for Top Ten Tuesdays, a segment that will be anything but consistent.  We all love memes.  We all love the San Diego Padres.  I have a feeling we all won't love these memes- in fact, it took me a long time to find 10 respectable ones and the ones at the top of this list aren't even that great.  Here...we...go.

10. 

An overused meme IMO and not too funny, although it would take the Monstars'

 help to get the Padres 8 in a row this year.

9. 

Philosoraptor is a classic meme but this installment falls short of lasting appeal. 

Durr hurr they suck so funny right?

8. 

Scumbag Steve with an unfriendly reminder that the Padres are the only team yet to pitch a no-hitter.

7. 

Oh hey Adrian nice to see you. Why does your face look like this:

Hopefully the Dodgers end up in the DOGHOUSE at the end of the year.  SO FUNNY

6. 

Boromir may have a point on this one.  Will the Padres break out the brooms this year?

Then again, Boromir was corrupted by the Ring so he is kinda dum.

5. 

Dumb and Dumber is the greatest comedy ever written.  I couldn't help but appreciate this.

What's their playoff probability at right now?

4. 

Bad Luck Brian with another case of bad luck.  Made the list also because of a strange resemblance to a fellow contributor to this blog...hmmmmmm.

3. 

Another appearance by the Philosoraptor.  He does present quite a quandary.

But the answer is: The Padres will lose.  Remember when they lost 3 of 4 at home to the terrible Cubs in 2010 and then had to sweep The Giants to make it to the Playoffs and then it came down to the last game and the The Padres lost and the The Giants won the effing World Series. Yuuuuuuuuuuuup.

2. 

I don't know why this made me laugh so much maybe it's because the home runs wouldn't count because he took PEDs.  Or just because stats from a games against The Padres should have an asterisk.  Players are probably like, "We get to face Marquis? And then Ross?!?! REJOICE!!"

1. 

The Pitiful Padres.

This speaks for itself.  It is the essence of The Padres, why we made this blog, why we love the team.

Whatever we write on this blog, know that we love this team and nothing will ever change that.  But seriously people to need to make some better memes, are The Padres THAT bad that people get bored of making fun of them?

Padres Celebrate Jackie Robinson Day with a Win

WARNING: This blog may contain extreme optimistic bias.

Much like this blog post.

Today was a great day for baseball. As everyone knows the story of Jackie Robinson, we can give him a standing ovation from our computers as we read this for what he did for the game of baseball.

As the Padres took on the Dodgers tonight for the first time since last Wednesday's brawl, one would have though thought tensions would be high and some dirty baseball might by played. Fortunately, for those of us who enjoy watching the game of baseball for baseball, the game was overall clean.

Nine Padres trotted out donning Jackie Robinson's #42 and they seem to have a different sense about them. I saw plenty of times they had patience at the plate (0-2 walks by Everth and Denorfia in the 7th), leaving balls in the dirt, hitting the ball solid overall and seeming to make me have faith in everyone in the lineup to get a hit tonight (including the pitcher Eric Stults with a 3-run jack in the second).

The Padres were able to compile 9 hits and 9 walks tonight in the 6-3 victory as 7 starters came away with a base knock. Yes, this includes Cameron Maybin, Sexi Alexi Amarista and recently called up Kyle "The K Man" Blanks.

Even the pitching seemed to be on point. It is no secret that the Padres have had their trouble with pitchers going deep in the game. Stults started off the same throwing over 20 pitches in the 1st, his stat line ended up quite well going 6IP, 9 hits, 4K's and 3 ER, giving the Padres their second quality start in a row. Although the hits were high, he was able to battle out of jams, including a first inning bases loaded one, in which he struck out Eithier to end the inning. He consistently was able to hit his spots and give the Padres a chance to win.

The bullpen actually did their job for once! Brad Brach pitched the 7th striking out Kemp looking and getting Gonzalez to GIDP, Luke Gregerson pitched a shutout 8th and Huston Street came in for the save. 3 IP, 0 runs. That is what good bullpens do.

Poor Kemp. Not really.

It is amazing when you do the right things and play to the ability to team has, they can actually win. 17 runners reached base, pitching did their job an and the defense yielded no errors. Do this a lot, and you will win some games.

What made me most stoked overall this game? Consistency. Padres were able to continuously get batters on base in every inning, including a lot of leadoff men. This is how you score. With patience at the plate drawing walks and sac bunting them over, the Padres played smart baseball and were able to get some runs without having to do to much.


Leaves a good taste in my mouth tonight with the hopes Chase Headley makes it to LA tomorrow to make his season debut.

Yes, you will hit many balls that way, Chase.

Carlos Quentin vs. Zack Greinke ROUND 3

For those of you Padres fans who were living in a hole last night, the Padres and Dodgers game took quite an interesting turn.

Zack Greinke hit Carlos Quentin with a pitch, Quentin didn't like it, so he charged the mound creating a benches clearing, bullpen clearing brawl.

Results: Carlos Quentin, Matt Kemp and former Padres Jerry Hairston, Jr. were all ejected from the game. And oh yeah, Zack Greinke has a fractured collar bone and will miss the next 6-8 weeks of the season.

Why did Quentin charge? Well, apparently, from what he said, there was some history behind it between the two players. Quentin is 6-26 against Greinke with 3 HRs and now 3 HBP.

In 2008, Greinke hit Quentin and again in 2009 when they played for their former teams, the Royals and White Sox. In the case of 2009, Quentin was immediately restrained by the umpire and Royals catcher which could have been a near charge situation.

So, yesterday, when Quentin got hit on 3-2 count in 2-1 ballgame in the 6th inning, he believed that history was part of the incident and took it into his own hands.

I got the Vin Scully version, because well, he is just awesome.

Anyways, my play by play of it. Carlos gets hit, take a few steps to the mound, he says Greinke said something to him and the 240lb frame of Quentin charged at the smaller Greinke, Greinke threw down his glove ready to brawl and resulted in cracking his collar bone and creating a full out brawl.

After watching the replay several times, I cannot tell what Greinke said and from Quentin's press conference, he says watch the replay. Greinke also had no comment on in, but it looks as if Greinke says one word. Whether it was a trigger word or not, Quentin took this personally.

Post game interviews after the game didn't ease any tension neither. Bud Black seemed very fired up and short with reporters and Don Mattingly came out calling Quentin an "idiot" and "shouldn't play a game" until Greinke comes back from his injury in a few months.

What Quentin said  about this? "The situation could have been avoided," he uttered several times at his locker interview.

But the fight did not stop there. It took to the tunnels of the stadium as Matt Kemp and Carlos Quentin had a heated exchanging of words which led to Kemp calling Quentin a B-word and Clayton Richard, looking all jacked, came in to break up the probable fight. If anything, Kemp should have been thankful, last thing they need is for him to get suspended on top of it, although it would have been his best hit of the season so far. ZING!

So, now we get to Monday, the Padres and Dodgers take a three-game series in L.A. My opinion, I would leave Quentin behind on this trip for his own personal safety. Also, the Dodgers also have eyes for an unnamed player currently as well. Safe to say, tensions will not be settled and things could get ugly really fast. If I were a fan, I stay avoid going to that series next week. Dodgers fan have a well...not so kind reputation when it comes to hurting other teams fans.

Just ask Bryan Stow what he thinks of the situation.

Winners and losers of this?
WINNER: The Padres. They needed something to really fire them up and whether it being justified or not, the fight definitely lit a fire under their but and hopefully will get them playing a little better before Headley comes back at the end of this month.

WINNER: The Giants. You tell me Bruce Bochy isn't sitting back enjoying Greinke being out 6-8 weeks? You would be nuts not to think so.

LOSER: Carlos Quentin. Already struggling through the early part of this season, and now you are going to slap a 5 game, maybe more because of a big injury to a big time player, and most likely a hefty fine. Not during yourself any favors, Carlos.

LOSER: Grienke. This dude is an idiot. Whether intentionally or not, if Quentin charges out at you, don't throw your glove down and get ready to scrap. MOVE, he is WAY bigger. Now, he has a broken collarbone and he is super socially awkward.

Lastly...

LOSER: Matt Kemp. He has now gotten himself in the middle of a big incident being ejected, who knows if that will lead to suspension, I am not sure what he did, and now has a target on his back going after Quentin in the parking lot.

I guess time will tell what really is going to come of it. Go Padres!

Some side notes...
Since his freshman year at Stanford, Quentin has been plunked 280 times, including 5 times in one game against Florida State which still stands as an NCAA record. Since his debut in 2006, he has been hit more than any MLB player at 116 HBP. Ouch.

Horseshoes and Hand grenades: Tough loss at Petco.

Well, this was probably the most exciting loss I have seen in a while at Petco Park as this game had a little bit of everything including a flare for the dramatic.

As I enter Petco today, I am greeted with a leadoff Carl Crawford home run as I make my way to my seat in right field. Cool. There goes Stults shutout streak at 5 innings. And Crawford's homerless streak. He hadn't hit one since August 2012.

"But look at my 2005 stats tho."

I thought the Padres were maybe going to catch a break today due to Billingsley hadn't started a game since August of last year. Wrong. He did well. 6IP, 1 ER, and a W.

But as I was saying earlier, the exciting stuff. I will touch up on the highlights:

-Padres pitchers struck out 8 and got out of several big jams late in the game. Bullpen went 4 shutout innings.
-Nick Hundley went 4-4. Yes, the starting catcher and Yasmani Grandal's replacement Nick Hundley. Kudos.
-Chris Denorfia was awesome once again. Went 2-5 with and RBI and threw a runner out at second from left. Oh yeah, he struck out in the 9th but still reached base and scored a run. Dude is sick.
-Yonder Alonso started the 9th inning at 2nd then moved to 3rd then moved back to second base as Kotsay pinch hit for Amarista in the 8th. Unfortunately, on Kotsay's PH AB, he was robbed of a potential RBI single by a diving catch by Skip Schumaker.

"Yes Yonder, 2nd base"

-Padres scored 2 runs in the ninth on clutch hitting and running only to fall short on a Yonder Alonso flyout with 2 on with a full count.

Enough bullet points and game recap, now for my personal analysis.

As fun as the game was, I was somewhat disappointed in the San Diego crowd in many ways. As usual, they got out-cheered by Dodger fans. By a longshot. Petco was quiet. They had a decent amount to cheer about tonight as well. They had 11 hits, solid pitching, and late inning near-heroics and I feel I could have had a conversation with a fan in the next section over.

Attendance was dreadful. This is a Dodgers series and Petco barely made it to half full with 22k fans tonight. I know it was a Wednesday, but that much of a drop off in one day after a big win? I want to know what it would have been like if they were playing the Rockies. Can't see it breaking 20,000 considering half the people were from LA.

Lastly, I was very confused by some of the calls by Bud Black this game. Failing to hit and run early in the game resulting in a double play, questionable substitution which resulted in bad placement by Alonso late in the game which almost cost a run and clearing the bench of all replacements. If the Padres did manage to send it to extras, they would have lost because they didn't have anyone left. Just odd few moves and throw in Bud Black pinch-hitting Eric Stults yesterday leaves me scratching my head. I guess he knows better than I do though.

2-6, but not as bad as it sounds. I can see some good blossoming. I want to see a lot more of Chris Denorfia and I want to see the bat of Nick Hundley continue to stay hot. Hold off for a tiny bit longer and our savior will be back in the lineup at third base.

Hits .400. Backs up Maybin

Go Padres.

Creating The Greatest Padre: This makes even Dr. Frankenstein queasy

So, the Padres may not exactly be strapped with All-Stars and first ballot Hall Of Famers. I get it, we are a budget ball club with budget players. I love the guys, but lets me honest, Cameron Maybin is no Mike Trout.

With the new ownership trying to secure some players this year (or at least that is what they told us?) I was thinking myself, why not keep what we've got and create a monster player? Well not everything of everyone just some essential part.

First, the body of Kyle Blanks. This dude is massive. Imagine the 6'5'' 265lb frame of Kyle Blanks? Makes Josh Hamilton look like a shrimp side by side. With this height, our dream player will be able to use his body for maximum power when up to bat and hit jacks for days. Blanks body is a no brainer.

Hall Of Fame. First Ballot.

Speed is also a no doubter as well. We will call on the wheels of Everth Cabrera to jet our near-giant around the diamond at rapid pace (of course, when he is not hitting bombs over the Frazee Paint can in left). Everth had 44 base steals last year, leading the NL, and with another added foot in size, I think this could make our baller push for a 50/50 season. Our guy will make the road runner look slow.

Arm? Straight Cash-ner. We want our guy throwing 100MPH from wherever we decide to place him.

Bat? Homer Headley gets the nod. The dude hit 31 home runs last year and knocked in a NL leading 115 RBIs. Imagine combining these monster stats with our moster body frame of Blanks? 40+ home runs would not be out of the question and the potential to make Miguel Cabrera's Triple Crown year look like a joke as we put up video game-like numbers. Prepare yourself for 10 years of walk-off home runs


Glove? Cameron Maybin. This guy is a human web-gem and with a twitter handle like @SpiderMayb24 this guy cruises around the field like a super hero making sweet catch after sweet catch, robbing the best in the game of big hits.




Now it is time for some key pieces Padres fans need to have in a player that go beyond the playing field.

Most importantly, the high socks of Chris Denorfia. This may not be a correct statistic by any means, but I swear, whenever he wears these, the Padres win percentage jumps to about .800! Also, they just look frekin' sweet.

• The moustache of Dale Thayer. It just makes our guy look like a man. 
• The durability of Mark Kotsay. We want our guy playing up to 40 and well beyond. Satchel Paige has got nothing on us.
• The dreads of Edison Volquez. Because, why not?
• The faith of the Friar. No matter if we are down, he will be there to believe in us.

And lastly, good attitude is a must and from what I have seen and heard, Will "The Thrill" Venable is a fan favorite and all around awesome dude when it comes to fans. He never turns down a chance to sign autographs and always has a smile on his face. We need that in our All-Star. No one wants to be a jerk.

"Did someone say my name?"

Okay, okay, so this may not be possible to create the ultimate player, but after writing this, I realize I love these guys no matter what they can or can't do. They are my Padres, and I will take them as is.

This message is Bud Black approved.

...unless somehow we can sign Steven Strasburg, I would take that guy.

GO PADRES!

Look What I Found... A Guide To Finding Tony Gwynn sized deals on Padres Purchases

I love finding a good deal. Really, I do. I have slept on a tarp behind a dumpster to avoid paying for a hotel for a night. Yeah, I go that far.

 I don't expect you to exactly imitate my ways of finding the best deal, but I am hear to help those who want to listen how to find some fresh Padres threads so you can you can look just like me.

Macklemore wasn't too far off as he talks about poppin' tags, as I do the very same thing.  I hit up thrift stores and I dig and I dig, sometimes with the end result being a 99cent awesome product.

So, yes, the secret is out, thrift stores are the way to go. I have bought everything from t-shirts, visors, hats, flags, bobble heads, baseballs, jackets, posters. If it has a Friar logo on it, I am buying it up real cheap.  1998 Championship T-shirts? I have about 6 of them and I pay no more than $2 each. Where there is a deal, I will find it.

Vintage Tony Gwynn Bat Man Forever shirt and Padres Visor: $3 total

Throwback Padres Ticket Seller authentic jacket: $3

And yes, everything you see here is purchased from thrift stores. When it comes to the Padres,  I pop tags.

Its not always just on merchandise where I am saving a buck. You can also save money on tickets in a variety of ways if you are trying to catch a game that you know of ahead of time.

This season, the Padres have implemented the new "dynamic ticket pricing" where it pays to buy your tickets early.

"We wanted to provicde discounted seats across the ballpark to fans that purchase in advance." said president and COO Tom Garfinkel. "Over time, as the games get closer, ticket prices will normalize, but generally, fans who buy early save money."

Basically what Tommy G is getting at is the Padres want your money now and they are willing to give a discount to get your money. For those big games like Chase Headley bobble head night, Dodgers, Yankees, and other big nights, get down to the park ahead of time to purchase your tickets. Also, remember, if you are trying gain access to the oh so precious park passes, they only go on sale 14 days prior to the game, so mark your calendars and head down to Petco two weeks early, and maybe catch a game while you are there.

For the fans who cannot stand paying the prices at the gates, I have recently been openend up to a new way of buying tickets called SeatGeek.com.

My friend, who works for Apple, came raving to me about this app boasting how it makes StubHub look like a red headed step child, and man was he right. This site combines all major ticketing websites (Ebay, StubHub, TicketsNow, TicketCity) and puts all in one search to find the cheapest prices for you. Not only does it show the cheapest pricing, it also sorts by the best deals in the house to let you know how good of deal you are getting relative to other tickets in the area. Basically find best seats for cheapest price in your favorite area of the park all in one convenient place.

"Found these on StubHub for $2"

This app allows price not to be as big as factor when coming to games so it can get more fans into the park. Last year, the Padres ranked 21st out of 30 teams in attendance. It would be awesome to see this number jump. More people in crowd, more money Padres make, better players Padres can (hopefully) buy or re-sign (Yes, this includes Chase Headley).

Baseball games are much more exciting when the fans get into it. If you don't believe so, go attend a game at Fenway Park, or even a SDSU basketball game. Full crowds make fun games. Rant over.




Why not save some cash this year and follow those easy steps to becoming a better Padres fan without breaking the bank. I feel this is an investment well worth it.

Who Do You Got? A Pitiful Padre Pre-Season Prediction Post.

I am far from a professional baseball analyst, almost as far as I can get (currently, I professionally make sandwiches, but that is not the point), but I still get my chance to guess who is going to be taking down some sweet hardware this year. So, I am going to leave you with my pre-season predictions for the coveted end of the year trophies.


National League
MVP: Joey Votto, Cincinnati Reds. It was cute last year when Buster Posey won the award, but I guess you could say he deserved it. First bold prediction: NO GIANT WILL WIN A MAJOR AWARD THIS YEAR. Not exactly bold, but back to my thought, Votto will take the crown. He should have a been a no-brainer last year. The guy was hitting .337 at the All-Star break until the pesky injury bug hit him and he never was really the same. Full season in uniform this year could return him to his 2010 MVP campaign days and bring something to cheer about in Cincy other than a first round playoff exit.

Cy Young: Steven Strasburg, Washington Nationals. Finally, they are letting Strasburg off his innings leash, which in my opinion, cost them a trip to the NLCS last year. This dude, and SDSU Alum, can throw a freakin' baseball really hard and do other amazing stuff with it, too. Several of the so called "professionals" have him as an outside chance to hit 300 strike outs this year. If Davey Johnson lets him go 220IP this year, this a no-brainer, even with Kershaw on the mound. Either way, we know it won't be a knuckle-baller taking down the trophy this year.

Rookie of the Year: Jedd Gyorko, San Diego Padres. Okay, okay, this might be a little bit of a homer pick, but I think the dude has a chance. With the injury bug hitting hard on the Padres (again...) he is getting a chance to come up early and show what he has got. No real high expectations of him and a predicted 4th place finish, so it may allow him to come in and feel very comfortable right away. He has signs of power as he hit for 30 HR, 100 RBI in the minors last year and he is going to start season off in his natural position at 3rd base. If he cuts down his K's (16 this spring), give him a shot. Lets bring home some hardware to Petco this year, Jedd.

Manager of the Year: Unfortunately, Don Mattingly, Los Angeles Dodgers. The guy basically has to screw up badly (somewhat similar to last year) not to get this award. Star studded team that will be potentially winning the NL West, make the playoffs for first time since 2009 and potentially a deep run into the playoffs. Don't mess up, Don. I am sure Bud Black would like to take that title home again if he can muster up some magic a few miles south.

American League

MVP: Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers. Don't give me any of this Trout business. Dude hit for the Triple Crown last year AND his lineup got an upgrade from Brennan Boesch/Quintin Berry to Torii Hunter. More RBI chances in an already star-studded Detroit lineup. Sure, Trout is good, but his numbers went down a bit in September of last year. Will he be able to avoid a sophomore slump completely. What he did last year was incredible. I think that will be too hard to duplicate.

Cy Young: Justin Verlander, Detroit Tigers. He lost the ultimate prize in dating Kate Upton this offseason, but did just collect $180 million contract that will make him a Tiger for life, so things are going well for the guy. Also, he was Cy Young in 2011, runner up last year and I think he wants to go out and prove he deserved that paycheck and that he is better than his 2012 World Series appearance

Rookie of the Year: Wil Myers, Tampa Bay Rays. Key stat in this decision: the Rays traded James Shields and Wade Davis for him AND he hit 37 bombs in the minors last year. If this kid gets a call up this year, he could get a trophy.

Manager of the Year: Ned Yost, Kansas City Royals. The last few years, people have been saying to look out for the Royals if their prospects get hot. Well, this year, they added some talented and sprinkled in the prospects in their $70M payroll. Vegas line has them for 79 wins, but if they can break .500 for the first time since 2003, the Royals manager will win a trophy.

Remember everyone, these are called predictions. They might not always be 100% accurate when things come to a close at the end of the 2013 campaign, but you better believe we are going to boast about our picks if the stars align and we did pick a few correctly out of a hat...eh.. I mean from our baseball knowledge.

To all: Happy opening day and enjoy this baseball season. It was long awaited and may your team or any other team besides the Yankees or Giants win the World Series. We just can't have that again.

Padres Weight Loss Program: Lose 19lbs EASY!

We get it, you are fat. We all are. Not many of us can complete a complete cycle of p90x, mainly because we get fed up with Tony Horton around Day 8. Not to worry, we at The Pitiful Padres help you to cut calories this year while religiously watching your favorite baseball team, the San Diego Padres.

Panda Sandoval needs to get on my program

Step 1: Find a perfect spot to watch

This might sound tougher than it sounds. Well, not really. Found a couch and a big TV. This is where your 162-game + playoffs* (*not guaranteed) work out will take place.

Step 2: Construct your workout

• Pre-Game: 
• If you are like me, you are pacing for at least 20 minutes prior to the game beginning waiting for the first pitch home run-turned-fly-ball at Petco Park. Without even knowing, you have began your workout and burned 68 calories before the Star-Spangled Banner is botched by some eight year old girl scout troop.
  
• During Game:









 Padres fan, King Leonidas, used this workout before filming 300

• Sac Bunt/Stolen Base sit-ups: Since the Padres are one of the most efficient teams in these two categories in 2012 with 155 SB's (2nd) and 63 Sac Bunts (9th), let us fans show our appreciation for the efficiency the Padres use to produced and the small ball tactics they display by doing sit-ups. Every 5 push ups is 1 calorie, so why not go 25 sit-ups to burn 5. The Padres average 1.34 of these run producers a game which comes out to 6.72 calories per game which getting abs to rival those of the Spartans in 300.
• Home Run Hops: For every Padres home run Chase Headley hits, or any Padre for that matter, you can celebrate with them by jumping up and down for 30 seconds. The Padres hit just 121 (.75) home runs last year, which ranked 3rd last in the MLB, so this rare feat deserves some recognition. And at 6.25 calories per jack, your scale is going to be stoked about those fences moving in this year. 4.68 calories per game
• Squats for strike outs: The Padres struck out 1238 times last season (7.64/game), which ranked 14th in the league. To imitate Padres players taking a squat on the bench after swinging and missing, start doing squats for 30 seconds. To calculate calories, a simple math problem: Your Weight x .096 x .5 (30 seconds). For me (180lbs), that is 8.64 calories per whiff if we calculate that times 7.64, that is 66 calories a game. Lets just hope the Padres don't run into Aaron Harang again, or your legs could be on fire for a few innings.
• Double Plays=Strong Legs Since the Padres were too lazy to run out that ground ball to short stop, your calves with suffer because of it. Stand up and do calf raises for 30 seconds to burn. Don't worry, Padres grounded into 100 DP's last year (26th) for only 2 calories per game
• Running For Runs The Padres were 23rd in the MLB last year with 651 runs scored last year, so why don't us fans give a little extra hustle to inspire the Padres and run in place for 30 seconds after every run scored. This will burn 5 calories and with the average of 4.01 runs per game, that is 20 calories per game
• Post Game
• Padres Victory Push ups After every Padres victory, which we can assume on 162 this year, do 25 push ups. For all those glass-half-empty people, do 25 even if they lose to encourage them for next game. At 1 calorie each, that is 25 calories per game

Now to do our final tallies. If we add up the average calories burned per game with the exercise and then factor in 295 calories for sitting and watching the game (2.9hrs, the average length of game x 102 calories/hour sitting and talking), we come up with 419.4 calories per game burned! Times that by 162 games, we can burn 67,942.8 calories per season which if divided by 3,500 (the amount of calories in a pound), we can burn 19.41lbs this season simply by watching baseball.

Fun Fact: Chase Headley will actually help you lose the most weight on the team! Leading the team with 157 strikeouts (1,356 calories), 95 Runs  (475 calories), 31 HRs (193.75) and contributing 22 Sac/SB (110 calories) and 7 GIDP (14 calories), Headley alone contributes for 2148.75 calories without even including his wins. Headley helps you lose .61lbs, he is your weight loss MVP.

Of course these numbers don't factor in the number of hot dogs (290 calories, 21g fat/dog), Peanuts (840 calories/8oz bag), Nachos (1500 calories/40 chips with 4oz cheese), Pretzels (400 calories), and soda (230 calories/20oz) according to a "Health Website"

I guess what I am trying to say is, you are fighting a losing battle, so everything helps. But overall, my message, however conflicting it may be, EAT UP FATTY! BASEBALL IS BACK!