It's all in the bag! The Best Sunflower Seeds Power Rankings

Take me out to the ball game and take me out with the crowd, but if you are buying me anything, it better be a bag of sunflower seeds. I'd settle for peanuts I guess, but Cracker Jack is a no-go. I'm a shelled snack kind of guy and I pride myself in eating entire bags in one sitting, over several hours at a time if need be.

This list is for all my seed-poppin', shell-spittin' brothers out there who believe that seeds and baseball could be one of the best food/fan marraiges out there.

If you even bother eating Frito Lay or David seeds, I have a feeling you have no respect for yourself. Do yourself and your mouth a favor and grab a mans bag of seeds. All five of these are proven to make you run faster and jump higher and bring your game to the level of at least Alexi Amarista.

So, here is my top 5 seeds to get you through this 2014 baseball season. Don't be afraid to buy in bulk. You will eat them.

5. Giant Sriacha

There is always room for untraditional flavors of seeds and sriacha flavor is proof of trying new things is good for the seed world. Surprisingly, these pack a nice kick for any spice enthusiast out there and sure to leave a few mouths in search of a fire extinguisher. Give them a try...if you dare.

4. Bigs Original flavor

Every once in a while, having a plain, original seed can satisfy any salty craving, and there is a reason these are the official seed of the MLB. These are great in small doses and I would never turn away a handful of these that will eventually lead to the necessity of chugging a Gatorade Riptide Rush. Don't be afraid, try me sometime.

3. Spitz Dill Pickle

Many are afraid to try a bag of these, but let me tell you, these are awesome. Literally a taste that have never tingled your buds before, and I am sure they resent you for it. Don't be turned off by the idea of eating "pickle" because I don't even notice or remember until I am at least halfway through a bag that they are supposed to taste like a cucumbers little bro. High risk yields high reward and dill pickle seeds yield an overall better quality of life.

2. Jumbo Ranch

Several reasons these make my list besides the gourmet flavor that sends me into a seed nirvana. These seeds are BIG. The name jumbo is no joke as these seeds are at least twice the size of the normal seed and 7x the size of those David seeds I mentioned earlier. A very underrated fact of these is no severe splitting. Instead of getting seed shrapnel that sticks into your gums like tiny ice picks and eventually leading to pints of blood lost and poor performance during the game, these are a clean break. Lastly, none of that powder stuff. All ranch coat on the whatever they call it to flavor and leads to messy hands and powder everywhere. Not Jumbo. These seeds must have the flavor roasted in or something because the coast yields no powder and packs an extreme flavor anyone can enjoy.

1. Spitz Smoky BBQ

 There is only reason Jumbo doesn't crack the #1 and it's because this seed is truly the seeds of the baseball gods themselves. I can't confirm, but I'm sure Babe Ruth is up there with a bag of these currently. Imagine sitting down to a nice dinner and Phil's BBQ. Now imagine that tasting a million times better and getting it all for just $1.50 a bag that you can pick up at your local Shell gas station. Truly, the greatest flavor of any seed ever created and ultimately in a whole new snack category of their own. If you honestly claim yourself to be a true seed lover and have never tried these, I order you to leave reading this blog and go buy a bag now. It will be the best snack decision you will ever make in your entire life. Show your mouth the respect it deserves.

Enjoy the sodium overload this season. I know I will. 

Hurt Headley Hinders Him Hitting Home Runs

On the Twittersphere today, just checking in on the latest gossip on Spring Training and people posting selfies of Chris Denorfia, when I came across news that only seems fitting for the Padres:

#Padres 3B Chase Headley has a strained right calf. On crutches as a precaution. He thinks it could be a couple of weeks.
— Corey Brock (@FollowThePadres) February 22, 2014

Well, uh oh! That sounds crappy!

Two years in a row? You've got to be kidding me right? Corey Brock is pulling my leg and hoping to find the tween that says "LOL JK", but as I scroll down the page and see Bob Scanlan and other confirm this tragedy, I must now accept that our Face of the MLB contestant is out....again.

I feel ya, buddy

With Chase Headley sidelined for the second year in a row during the Spring Training season, it can't help but make me a little frustrated about the start of Padres camp in Peoria. This is already the second injury (Max Fried) the Pads have seen and we haven't even made it through the first week. I am expecting soon to see Venable go down with a rattle snake bite, Maybin straining his elbow while brushing his teeth or some other fluke accident to make things worse.

Even though Headley's injury was deemed "minor" and "will be back in a few weeks", that doesn't put me in the greatest of moods knowing our star player and *crosses fingers* future extended player is hurt already in what I felt was going to be a big year. He wants to show '12 wasn't a fluke and he knows it is a contract year. Some numbers will be put up, right?

But, I see the silver lining. It did happen just in the first week of camp and that will give him plenty of time to recover and still have a productive spring and be ready for Opening Day. Couldn't be worse than last year when we trotted out Cody Ransom at 3B at Opening Day at Petco Park last year.

Well, get well Chase. We need you. Heck, I need you...mainly for fantasy baseball purposes, but your bat is welcomed with open arms into a hopefully potent (can I use that word talking about the Padres?) lineup.

Go Pads!

Little League Baseball has Big League sized problems

My Little League career was awesome. No doubt, my finest days as a baseball player. As captain of the infield as an All-Star left-handed short stop, I led the Pirates to a 17-3 record and a deep run in the Tournament of Champions along with a walk-off hit against our rivals in an All-Star game. I didn't end up taking the team to Willamsport, but none the less, it was a blast. I finished as a six-time All-Star and if there was a Ponderosa Little Leauge Hall of Fame, I think I would be a first ballot vote in.

The number of time I have heard "All Star" could be in the millions

                                                     
But recent research for a graduate school essay has left a frown on my face. Little League numbers have been dropping. And fast. From 2000 to 2009, Little League numbers have dropped 24% and many kids are giving the same reason: the game is boring to them.

So, I sit here thinking to myself how can the game I love be boring? But then I think of a kid in right field, where the ball never gets hit, sitting and picking dandelions and waiting for the post game snack of orange slices and a Capri Sun. How can we get kids more engaged and enjoy the game?

Other sports like football and basketball admittedly are much more fast paced and I can see the appeal to a youth society that can't go five minutes without picking up their brand new iPhone to play a game of Flappy Bird.

This game is the worst, by the way.

We need to teach kids that baseball can be fun, it can be exciting. We need to teach them how on every play, there is a lot that goes on. The pitch selection depending on the count, the shifting of an outfield for a left handed batter or the runner on first taking different leads depending on the move from the pitcher. Baseball might be a slower game to some, but it is more complex than it seems. The basic throw, hit and catch is not the only thing that baseball can provide.

Get out with the kid and throw the ball around with him for 10 minutes. Get a bucket of balls and go hit at a field, even it if is just wiffle balls. Help make your kid better. Don't make a child lose interest in baseball because no one took the time to help them improve the skill. I realize not everyone is going to be an All Star, but that does not mean they can't have fun being part of a team.

There was nothing greater than hanging out in the dug out and spitting seeds while chowing down on some Big League Chew. Every child deserves the chance to have fun with their friends and enjoy America's greatest past time.

Isn't that wright, David? HAHAHA

Dear Baseball Fans....

Dear Baseball Fans,

The start of another baseball season. The deep breath of anticipation as we await what February through October is going to bring to us. The next nine months of hope, speculation, heartbreak and triumph lay in front of us as we prepare for another long season. The great plays, the dramatic late innings, the home runs, the pitching dominance and every win or loss, we will be there.

These nine months are just as hard on them as they are on us. The hours we spend talking and wondering what this season will hold. The research we put in and all the moves we should have made in the offseason( and all the ones we shouldn’t) all come together and we plan our season.

As we plan our Spring Training trips, break out our teams gear, and pound our glove to get it ready for the first time since last October, it’s hard not to think that this is not our year. How much preparation we have put in, how much time we will have to sacrifice? How much work we will miss, how much money we will spend, how many minutes, hours, days we will spend in front of the television or radio, listening to every crack of the bat and every third strike call? It doesn’t matter. We will be there, we will be following and darn it, WE DESERVE THIS!

It doesn’t matter what our rivals say, it doesn’t matter what the analysts say or how long our odds may be. Let them all talk, let them all doubt, because no matter what, we will back our team. We will root, root, root for the home team. We will make our pilgrimages to our personal baseball cathedrals.  With every win we will feel the sensation of victory and every loss, the agony of defeat. We take them hard. Just as hard, if not harder than the players. Harder than we should admittedly, but still doesn’t hurt any less. For it will all be worth it come fall as we chase a Division and League Championship and make our claim for the best in the game.

It is hard to contain the excitement as players arrive to Arizona and Florida to brush off the dust and begin this journey. We will be there, too, and we will enjoy the ride.

Rejoice fans, for it is baseball season.  May your season be as enjoyable as mine will be!

Sincerely yours,

A Diehard Baseball Fan

 

 

Baseball fans: Stay Boston Strong

I am going to make this one short and sweet, I just simply love how baseball fans have come together to support Boston in their time of need.

Just because two low-lives want to set off some bombs does not mean he can divide this country. All they did was unify it, and it was awesome to see baseball fans come together.

Whether it was moments of silence across the USA at stadiums or playing "Sweet Caroline" in honor of Fenway Park, it was great to see so many coming together. Last night, at Angel Stadium, I was able to sing "Sweet Caroline" and made me think of my times at Fenway Park over the years. What a great experience.



If you don't believe me, just check out this video. Love the American flag.

Or just watch David Ortiz drop an F-Bomb to Fenway Park in his pre-game speech.



We all may have different team affiliations, but I can safely say we are all die-hard fans of America.

Go USA.

The 15 Greatest Baseball Movies of All Time

Like many baseball fans, I am a nerd for baseball movies. From the start, my bias is there. I am going to like it because it is about my biggest passions I have. If it is about baseball, you can count me in always as a guy who will go see it with you.

What I have here is the ultimate list of baseball movies I have seen. Regardless of whether or not you agree with me, you are wrong. These here are the 15 greatest baseball movies of all time. If you haven't seen at least half of these movies, you do not deserve to be a baseball fan and you should spend you time following European Soccer, golf or some other useless game.

15. For Love of The Game

Pitches better than Verlander

Kevin Costner is baseball movies. He does a great job in every one he has been in and did not fail in this one. Aging Tigers pitcher pitching his final game in the big leagues as the whole country follows his bid for a perfect-o. And Vin Scully does the announcing. I know he is a Dodger guy, but man is a legend and gets a pass in my book.







14. The Benchwarmers

Okay, I know, this is kind of pathetic for baseball movies, but it had to make my list. With Rob Schneider mowing down little league kids as a 30+ year old man, it doesn't really make sense to me neither. Somehow, I get a laugh watching Napolean Dynamite swing a bat, and oh yeah, there is this part...

I do not believe the 25 Metacritic score does it justice.

13. Fever Pitch

I will publicly admit my bias in saying I am part Red Sox fan. Growing up with a family friend playing for them, it was hard not for me to be drawn by the appeal of the Green Monster and Fenway at age 5. Plus, bragging rights against my friends. Anyways, Jimmy Fallon is awesome and fits his role perfectly as an obsessed Boston Red Sox fan on the way to the World Series. Plus, his room is what ever baseball fan dream of.

Two words: Yankee Toiletpaper





12. The Scout

Steve Nebraska has to be the greatest fictional baseball player ever to play the game of baseball. A guy who gets carried to the field on a thrown, throws 112 MPH and can hit bombs both ways without steroids? Even the fact that he is played by Brendan Fraser gets overlooked when you see the hilarity of this movie.

Highlight of this movie? His 81 pitch perfect game in the World Series after he is flown in by a helicopter. He is more Boss than George Steinbrenner.



11. Little Big League

I think what makes this movie so great is the time this movie came out.  I was four at the time so in a few years after I was able to understand, it was awesome seeing someone around my age coach a professional baseball game. Getting big leaguers to help me with my math homework would have been a dream come true.

Spoiler: Griffey robs a home run at the end and the Twins lose. That part is so cool.



10. The Rookie

A true story of a school teacher turned professional baseball player? Sign me up. I am a sucker for rags to riches stories and things of that nature. I remember seeing this movie when it came out in theaters and thought it was amazing and I still do.






9. Rookie of The Year

If you were a kid, at some point you have pretended to be Henry Rowengartner. Breaks arms then becomes a professional baseball player? Throw in Gary Busey and the crazy hitting coach and you have a instant childhood classic.

Most unrealistic part of this movie? Cubs winning the World Series.





8. Angels in the Outfield

Joseph Gordon Levitt before his was a star apparently was an orphan kid who loved the Angels, prayed to God and had the Angels win the pennant. Maybe they need a remake of this for the team this year, because Anaheim hasn't seen a worse team since George Knox was running the show. I could watch this movie everyday. Whoever doesn't think JP is coolest doesn't deserve to be my friend.





This also happens to be the theme song for my softball team as well.

7. Moneyball

Lets get to a serious movie. Brad Pitt playing the baseball wizkid Billy Beane and steering the Oakland A's to the playoffs with his outlandish style of winning the organization on a small budget? Sounds like the Padres need to learn a thing or two from this guy. A's are able to make their budget work every year through the Billy Beane program. Has a lot of good facts and knowledge which is good for the baseball nerdy crowd who likes a few stats thrown in there.



6. The Natural

Roy Hobbs is someone who shows us the good there is in baseball. Standup guy who does all the right things and uses his God-given talent to be the best player that ever put on a uniform. Robert Redford's character may go down as the #2 most memorable fictional baseball player.






5. Major League

A group of nobody's who are supposed to lose by win the pennant anyways to spite ownership. This would be great if based on a true story of the 2013 Padres team. But seriously, this movie is super funny. Seeing Charlie Sheen as Rick Vaughn is always worth the 107 minute investment of time to watch this. The sequel ain't half bad neither.





4. 42

Although this movie is brand new to the baseball realm, it is already an instant classic. The story of Jackie Robinson has to be one of the most inspiring baseball tales ever to happen as we watch a man defy all odds to become a hero to many as the first black man to play baseball. Seriously and emotional movie. Graphic for a PG-13 and only makes you imagine what it was like in real life.

Spoiler: Steve the Pirate is a racist.

3. Hard Ball

A surprise choice for being up this high, I know. But I seriously love this movie. In my opinion, this is Keanu Reeves best role besides Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure as he coaches the Kekambas, a group of inner-city Chicago kids, in the game of baseball and more importantly the game of life. You will never listen to the song "Big Poppa" without thinking of this movie.

And tell me you didn't cry when G-Baby died?

2. Field of Dreams

Again, another Kevin Costner great. If you haven't heard "If you build it, they will come", you should be hanging out with Rain Man. GUYS, I AM KIDDING! But seriously, this is THE classic baseball movie. Hearing voices to build a baseball stadium in your backyard and travel across the country to find a backup named Moonlight Graham, and have the Chicago Black Sox walk out from your cornfield. I love this movie because it is the ultimate baseball movie and an awesome story about how a Iowa man gets to meet his father for the first time. Go watch this right now if you haven't seen it.



AND FINALLY......

1. The Sandlot

If you haven't seen this movie you have been living under a rock your entire life. Whether a baseball fan or not, this is a must see. This movie is hilarious and  guaranteed you have uttered several quotes from this movie and every time you see a big dog, you think of the beast. All of us had and still have a crush on Wendy Peffercorn, we all wanted PF Flyers to run faster and jump higher, and it is unanimous that Benny "The Jet" is a sports icon and is hands down the most remembered baseball character of all time. I could watch this movie FOR-EV-ER.

Also, the greatest movie quote of all time:

"Remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart , and you can never go wrong"

May we always remember these 9 kids.

Look What I Found... A Guide To Finding Tony Gwynn sized deals on Padres Purchases

I love finding a good deal. Really, I do. I have slept on a tarp behind a dumpster to avoid paying for a hotel for a night. Yeah, I go that far.

 I don't expect you to exactly imitate my ways of finding the best deal, but I am hear to help those who want to listen how to find some fresh Padres threads so you can you can look just like me.

Macklemore wasn't too far off as he talks about poppin' tags, as I do the very same thing.  I hit up thrift stores and I dig and I dig, sometimes with the end result being a 99cent awesome product.

So, yes, the secret is out, thrift stores are the way to go. I have bought everything from t-shirts, visors, hats, flags, bobble heads, baseballs, jackets, posters. If it has a Friar logo on it, I am buying it up real cheap.  1998 Championship T-shirts? I have about 6 of them and I pay no more than $2 each. Where there is a deal, I will find it.

Vintage Tony Gwynn Bat Man Forever shirt and Padres Visor: $3 total

Throwback Padres Ticket Seller authentic jacket: $3

And yes, everything you see here is purchased from thrift stores. When it comes to the Padres,  I pop tags.

Its not always just on merchandise where I am saving a buck. You can also save money on tickets in a variety of ways if you are trying to catch a game that you know of ahead of time.

This season, the Padres have implemented the new "dynamic ticket pricing" where it pays to buy your tickets early.

"We wanted to provicde discounted seats across the ballpark to fans that purchase in advance." said president and COO Tom Garfinkel. "Over time, as the games get closer, ticket prices will normalize, but generally, fans who buy early save money."

Basically what Tommy G is getting at is the Padres want your money now and they are willing to give a discount to get your money. For those big games like Chase Headley bobble head night, Dodgers, Yankees, and other big nights, get down to the park ahead of time to purchase your tickets. Also, remember, if you are trying gain access to the oh so precious park passes, they only go on sale 14 days prior to the game, so mark your calendars and head down to Petco two weeks early, and maybe catch a game while you are there.

For the fans who cannot stand paying the prices at the gates, I have recently been openend up to a new way of buying tickets called SeatGeek.com.

My friend, who works for Apple, came raving to me about this app boasting how it makes StubHub look like a red headed step child, and man was he right. This site combines all major ticketing websites (Ebay, StubHub, TicketsNow, TicketCity) and puts all in one search to find the cheapest prices for you. Not only does it show the cheapest pricing, it also sorts by the best deals in the house to let you know how good of deal you are getting relative to other tickets in the area. Basically find best seats for cheapest price in your favorite area of the park all in one convenient place.

"Found these on StubHub for $2"

This app allows price not to be as big as factor when coming to games so it can get more fans into the park. Last year, the Padres ranked 21st out of 30 teams in attendance. It would be awesome to see this number jump. More people in crowd, more money Padres make, better players Padres can (hopefully) buy or re-sign (Yes, this includes Chase Headley).

Baseball games are much more exciting when the fans get into it. If you don't believe so, go attend a game at Fenway Park, or even a SDSU basketball game. Full crowds make fun games. Rant over.




Why not save some cash this year and follow those easy steps to becoming a better Padres fan without breaking the bank. I feel this is an investment well worth it.

Who Do You Got? A Pitiful Padre Pre-Season Prediction Post.

I am far from a professional baseball analyst, almost as far as I can get (currently, I professionally make sandwiches, but that is not the point), but I still get my chance to guess who is going to be taking down some sweet hardware this year. So, I am going to leave you with my pre-season predictions for the coveted end of the year trophies.


National League
MVP: Joey Votto, Cincinnati Reds. It was cute last year when Buster Posey won the award, but I guess you could say he deserved it. First bold prediction: NO GIANT WILL WIN A MAJOR AWARD THIS YEAR. Not exactly bold, but back to my thought, Votto will take the crown. He should have a been a no-brainer last year. The guy was hitting .337 at the All-Star break until the pesky injury bug hit him and he never was really the same. Full season in uniform this year could return him to his 2010 MVP campaign days and bring something to cheer about in Cincy other than a first round playoff exit.

Cy Young: Steven Strasburg, Washington Nationals. Finally, they are letting Strasburg off his innings leash, which in my opinion, cost them a trip to the NLCS last year. This dude, and SDSU Alum, can throw a freakin' baseball really hard and do other amazing stuff with it, too. Several of the so called "professionals" have him as an outside chance to hit 300 strike outs this year. If Davey Johnson lets him go 220IP this year, this a no-brainer, even with Kershaw on the mound. Either way, we know it won't be a knuckle-baller taking down the trophy this year.

Rookie of the Year: Jedd Gyorko, San Diego Padres. Okay, okay, this might be a little bit of a homer pick, but I think the dude has a chance. With the injury bug hitting hard on the Padres (again...) he is getting a chance to come up early and show what he has got. No real high expectations of him and a predicted 4th place finish, so it may allow him to come in and feel very comfortable right away. He has signs of power as he hit for 30 HR, 100 RBI in the minors last year and he is going to start season off in his natural position at 3rd base. If he cuts down his K's (16 this spring), give him a shot. Lets bring home some hardware to Petco this year, Jedd.

Manager of the Year: Unfortunately, Don Mattingly, Los Angeles Dodgers. The guy basically has to screw up badly (somewhat similar to last year) not to get this award. Star studded team that will be potentially winning the NL West, make the playoffs for first time since 2009 and potentially a deep run into the playoffs. Don't mess up, Don. I am sure Bud Black would like to take that title home again if he can muster up some magic a few miles south.

American League

MVP: Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers. Don't give me any of this Trout business. Dude hit for the Triple Crown last year AND his lineup got an upgrade from Brennan Boesch/Quintin Berry to Torii Hunter. More RBI chances in an already star-studded Detroit lineup. Sure, Trout is good, but his numbers went down a bit in September of last year. Will he be able to avoid a sophomore slump completely. What he did last year was incredible. I think that will be too hard to duplicate.

Cy Young: Justin Verlander, Detroit Tigers. He lost the ultimate prize in dating Kate Upton this offseason, but did just collect $180 million contract that will make him a Tiger for life, so things are going well for the guy. Also, he was Cy Young in 2011, runner up last year and I think he wants to go out and prove he deserved that paycheck and that he is better than his 2012 World Series appearance

Rookie of the Year: Wil Myers, Tampa Bay Rays. Key stat in this decision: the Rays traded James Shields and Wade Davis for him AND he hit 37 bombs in the minors last year. If this kid gets a call up this year, he could get a trophy.

Manager of the Year: Ned Yost, Kansas City Royals. The last few years, people have been saying to look out for the Royals if their prospects get hot. Well, this year, they added some talented and sprinkled in the prospects in their $70M payroll. Vegas line has them for 79 wins, but if they can break .500 for the first time since 2003, the Royals manager will win a trophy.

Remember everyone, these are called predictions. They might not always be 100% accurate when things come to a close at the end of the 2013 campaign, but you better believe we are going to boast about our picks if the stars align and we did pick a few correctly out of a hat...eh.. I mean from our baseball knowledge.

To all: Happy opening day and enjoy this baseball season. It was long awaited and may your team or any other team besides the Yankees or Giants win the World Series. We just can't have that again.

Padres Weight Loss Program: Lose 19lbs EASY!

We get it, you are fat. We all are. Not many of us can complete a complete cycle of p90x, mainly because we get fed up with Tony Horton around Day 8. Not to worry, we at The Pitiful Padres help you to cut calories this year while religiously watching your favorite baseball team, the San Diego Padres.

Panda Sandoval needs to get on my program

Step 1: Find a perfect spot to watch

This might sound tougher than it sounds. Well, not really. Found a couch and a big TV. This is where your 162-game + playoffs* (*not guaranteed) work out will take place.

Step 2: Construct your workout

• Pre-Game: 
• If you are like me, you are pacing for at least 20 minutes prior to the game beginning waiting for the first pitch home run-turned-fly-ball at Petco Park. Without even knowing, you have began your workout and burned 68 calories before the Star-Spangled Banner is botched by some eight year old girl scout troop.
  
• During Game:









 Padres fan, King Leonidas, used this workout before filming 300

• Sac Bunt/Stolen Base sit-ups: Since the Padres are one of the most efficient teams in these two categories in 2012 with 155 SB's (2nd) and 63 Sac Bunts (9th), let us fans show our appreciation for the efficiency the Padres use to produced and the small ball tactics they display by doing sit-ups. Every 5 push ups is 1 calorie, so why not go 25 sit-ups to burn 5. The Padres average 1.34 of these run producers a game which comes out to 6.72 calories per game which getting abs to rival those of the Spartans in 300.
• Home Run Hops: For every Padres home run Chase Headley hits, or any Padre for that matter, you can celebrate with them by jumping up and down for 30 seconds. The Padres hit just 121 (.75) home runs last year, which ranked 3rd last in the MLB, so this rare feat deserves some recognition. And at 6.25 calories per jack, your scale is going to be stoked about those fences moving in this year. 4.68 calories per game
• Squats for strike outs: The Padres struck out 1238 times last season (7.64/game), which ranked 14th in the league. To imitate Padres players taking a squat on the bench after swinging and missing, start doing squats for 30 seconds. To calculate calories, a simple math problem: Your Weight x .096 x .5 (30 seconds). For me (180lbs), that is 8.64 calories per whiff if we calculate that times 7.64, that is 66 calories a game. Lets just hope the Padres don't run into Aaron Harang again, or your legs could be on fire for a few innings.
• Double Plays=Strong Legs Since the Padres were too lazy to run out that ground ball to short stop, your calves with suffer because of it. Stand up and do calf raises for 30 seconds to burn. Don't worry, Padres grounded into 100 DP's last year (26th) for only 2 calories per game
• Running For Runs The Padres were 23rd in the MLB last year with 651 runs scored last year, so why don't us fans give a little extra hustle to inspire the Padres and run in place for 30 seconds after every run scored. This will burn 5 calories and with the average of 4.01 runs per game, that is 20 calories per game
• Post Game
• Padres Victory Push ups After every Padres victory, which we can assume on 162 this year, do 25 push ups. For all those glass-half-empty people, do 25 even if they lose to encourage them for next game. At 1 calorie each, that is 25 calories per game

Now to do our final tallies. If we add up the average calories burned per game with the exercise and then factor in 295 calories for sitting and watching the game (2.9hrs, the average length of game x 102 calories/hour sitting and talking), we come up with 419.4 calories per game burned! Times that by 162 games, we can burn 67,942.8 calories per season which if divided by 3,500 (the amount of calories in a pound), we can burn 19.41lbs this season simply by watching baseball.

Fun Fact: Chase Headley will actually help you lose the most weight on the team! Leading the team with 157 strikeouts (1,356 calories), 95 Runs  (475 calories), 31 HRs (193.75) and contributing 22 Sac/SB (110 calories) and 7 GIDP (14 calories), Headley alone contributes for 2148.75 calories without even including his wins. Headley helps you lose .61lbs, he is your weight loss MVP.

Of course these numbers don't factor in the number of hot dogs (290 calories, 21g fat/dog), Peanuts (840 calories/8oz bag), Nachos (1500 calories/40 chips with 4oz cheese), Pretzels (400 calories), and soda (230 calories/20oz) according to a "Health Website"

I guess what I am trying to say is, you are fighting a losing battle, so everything helps. But overall, my message, however conflicting it may be, EAT UP FATTY! BASEBALL IS BACK!

Spring Training 2013: February 25th (Game 4)

The Padres face the Brewers with the rights to sudsy beverages as the victor's prize. Would the evil conglomerate empire or the valiant microbreweries prevail in this beer fight?

Your kung-fu is week, Fuzzles.

Not bear fight, beer fight! Oh thank Xenu, the jump is here.

Free Money: The 2013 Baseball Betting Bible

*In no way, shape, or form is this expert opinion, I just have a gambling problem

Are you one of the suckers trying to hit the baseball betting jackpot this season? Can you see into the future and know who is going to win it all this year like some kind of fortune teller? Have you accurately predicted the last three years World Series teams? If so, please call me, I would like to have some insider information.

I am sure she is an expert.

Betting on baseball is fun and winning is even more fun. I usually only get to have to fun of making my dumb bets and detest the casino workers laugh at me while counting my money. Not this year. This is the year I make it out of the casino with enough money to go back next year and make more ludicrous wagers.

For starters, the odds of the divisions.

Who is parlaying the Astros and Marlins with me?

My winners:
Braves, Cardinals, Giants, Blue Jays, Tigers, Angels

Now you are thinking wait Bret, you picked three of the predicted AL division winners? That is hardly something you are giving us insight about.. I do have a rebuttal. I did this because those teams are seriously freakin' good. Each of these three teams have the best teams on paper.

 -You are trying to tell me the Tigers won't win the division? The same team that made it to the World Series last year and then, oh yeah, added Torii Hunter and Victor Martinez to the already powerful lineup.
-Sorry, A's fans, the only thing doing the Bernie this year will be the Coco Crisp bobblehead giveaway, the Angels have the West locked.
-Blue Jays...They are starting a Cy Young winner-knuckleballer on opening day, and picked up Josh Johnson, Mark Burhle, Melky Cabrera and Jose Reyes. They seem to have the East locked over and aging Yankee team and a Red Sox team full of ???

Just wait 'til Interleagues where I can hit, too!

The NL Race I feel is as open as upper deck seats at Petco Park. I chose these teams in the west because with the crap shoot the NL may be, if you are looking to take a bigger risk, the reward may be in your future

-I picked the Braves this year because of what they did to their offense. Losing Chipper Jones but picking up the Uptons' to add to Heyward? I feel the Nationals might have a slight edge with their baller rotation and that snot-nosed kid Harper they have, but to get a good ROI (return on investment for those non-business folk), Braves are 8/5 vs. Nationals 5/6.
-Cardinals never seem to be a bad pick. Sure, the Reds have won the division last two years, including last year by 9 wins, but it comes down to the ROI factor. I never can count the Cardinals out because of  their potent lineup filled with potential All-Stars. Yeah, Chris Carpenter out for the year doesn't help, but doesn't that guy get hurt every year.
-I will say it now in capital letters: THE NL WEST WILL BE THE MOST COMPETITIVE DIVISION IN BASEBALL THIS YEAR. Now that I have that out of me I will explain why I picked the Giants. It is simple: chemistry. As much as I hated seeing them win the Fall Classic two of the last three years without having the best team, they play well together. I know emotions aren't supposed to get in the way and looking at the Dodgers lineup it is hard to bet against them, but the Giants have a knack of winning and with another better ROI. If Zito can pitch like he did in the playoffs last year and Tim Lincecum's hair cut can renew his pitching of old, this team can be good.

Someone looks ready for a Harry Potter remake.

Pennant Odds:

My two picks for the pennants this year are the Washington Nationals and the Detroit Tigers. But wait! You didn't even pick the Nationals to win the division! True. I did not, but there are still two wild card slots and the Nationals WILL make the playoffs. Their lineup is good and their staff (if Strasburg is allowed to pitch this year) is made for playoff series. The Tigers have the best team in baseball in my opinion and you can see my reasoning in the graphic below.

World Series:

My pick for the World Series this year is the Tigers. The AL Playoffs is going to be tough but I can't bet against a team that went to the World Series last year AND got even better this year. Their rotation is deep and their lineup is powerful, I just hope they don't take a dump in the big one. Personally, I want to see how big of riot the people in Detroit can muster up. After the Giants winning it all last year and creating havoc, the people in MoTown must have taken it personal.


So, go ahead and listen to me. If you want to get paid this season, follow along to my step by step guide of how to strike it rich this year betting on baseball. You may not deem me an expect, but you are the one looking for tips, so obviously you have no clue neither. I still am going to make a silly 80/1 Padres World Series bet, because who knows? They still have to play the game and at least we aren't the Astros.

That's a bet the even Pete Rose would take.

Go Padres