Creating the greatest ballpark EVER! Seriously, this place would be sweet.

We all have our favorite baseball parks and I have mine as well. After visiting 20 different parks in my lifetime and plans on hitting the rest, it is hard to choose just one park to be crowned king of baseball. Every park I have visited has brought me something unique that is special to that park, so whenever I am asked the question “what is your favorite park?” I always have to respond with depends.

Thinking about it today, I want to end all argument about which park is best and create my own fantasy megapark that includes some of baseball’s best attributes in one great cathedral.

Location is a key component for any baseball stadium. I want my fans to get in and out with ease and encourage them to come back often because of the lack of stress traveling to and from the stadium. I am going to have to use a dual park system here to create the ultimate fan experience. I found that to create ease you need large parking lots with many exits and awesome public transportation, so I use the tag team of Kauffman and Yankee Stadium. Kauffman has a massive lot situated adjacent to Arrowhead stadium outside the city. Many ways in, many ways out, and a large enough spot for the biggest baseball tailgate anyone has ever seen. Public transportation hands down goes to New York City. The subway system makes MTS look like a sick joke in the SD area, so shove the other half of the fans onto those bum-infested roller coasters and get them out of dodge in a hurry. Throw in the parking cost of Angels Stadium (which I have paid $3 at times) and this park is a cost-friendly, travel-ready dream land.

Morgan Freeman?

The first part of my park would have to include the Green Monster from Fenway Park. Many are haters on the 37-foot gargantuan in left field. Not me. It was my first park I ever went to and that wall is easily the most unique spot in all of baseball. The wall giveth and the wall taketh, and I taketh the wall to my new park.

The ivy at Wrigley Field is a must. Including pieces of classic ballparks into the new modern day stadium is necessary and having a plant cover the entire surrounding of the field including the behemoth in left is not only needed, but required. This ivy would have to sprout directly from Wrigley though so the ghost of Harry Caray can live on for generations.

This would make Amarista look more lost than he already is in the outfield.

Maybe one of the most frustrating additions to any park is the foul territory at Oakland Coliseum, after after careful consideration, making my stadium into a pitchers park, I need this. Hoping my Padres can one day move into this fantasy stadium and knowing the Pads need as much help as we can get, keeping a massive foul grounds can send irritated hitters sulking back to the dugout as Alonso heads what feels 100-feet into to foul ground to easily snag a souvenir in all other parks. Keep our ERAs low and our Cy Young dreams high. Our park will attract some of the best arms in baseball.

There is no prettier sight in baseball than looking out of Busch Stadium and seeing the Arch standing as a soaring silver sentinel beyond center field. Sights and sounds are all a part of the experience of coming to the stadium, and this had made a lasting impression on me.

While talking centerfield, the hill from Minute Maid Park. Just ‘cuz.

This is wonderful.

One of the coolest non-baseball parts of any park are the slides and the two in particular are the home run slide in Milwaukee and the Coke bottle slide in San Francisco. Combine the two ideas and create a giant home run slide coming off the Green Monster in left and switch out Coke for the Godly elixir known as Dr. Pepper and you have created a thrill ride for Bernie Brewer. Yes, he stays. He has earned that right. To add an extra twist, make it a water slide that ends up in the Chase Field pool. Perfect for summer days. No Dodgers allowed.

Maybe with their added payroll, they took away showers?

I do not like two perks from one park, but take the history from Yankee Stadium, throw it on like a Valencia filter on Instagram and now the park has the antiquity it deserves. The Ghost of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig can keep Harry Caray company.

The one thing I like about Dodger Stadium…no not the parking, the fans, the traffic, the brawls, the city, the players, no none of these. The best part is the sunset. Something about the sun being filtered through the heavily polluted sky creates the only thing worth noting in Chavez Ravine. I guess I kind of like singing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” twice, too.

Every park needs an awesome scoreboard. You hook me up with the one from Comerica Park or Safeco and my needs are met. That simple.

Lastly, I will break my rule and take two things from Petco. The Western Metal Supply and the Park in the Park. Imagine the Western Metal nestled nicely up against the Monster and families sprawled out on blankets in the outfield. This historic building built into the park was a good call by Petco builders and the grass area is a special place that creates a good family atmosphere to bring kids to the park, many for the first time. Both are big wins in my book.

 

Throw in some cool bobble head promotions, mid-game fireworks, a retractable roof, the President Race from Washington and the Donut Burger of PNC Park and this place is a masterpiece. Fans will come. It will sell out. It will be awesome!

Go Padres!